Wednesday, October 27

Don’t think he finds a girlfriend

The 40-year-old man is increasingly sure that he must live life alone. How should you prepare for it?

  • Frode thuen

    Teacher, Høgskulen på Vestlandet

  • Åge Peterson


More and more people are living alone and some hope to continue that life for the rest of their lives. Do not step on anyone, but it is reasonable to believe that some with severe mental problems or severe physical disabilities can expect to live their lives without a partner.

Of course there are exceptions, but you understand what I mean. For my part, I am functionally healthy, and as I see him a quite normal and nice boy of almost 40 years. The reality remains that I have had two half relationships in my life, the last one was ten years ago. Women seem to have little interest in my being. I am about to accept the fact that I am one of the few who will experience this more or less beautiful mystery, that is, life, alone.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Don’t give up! There is someone for everyone “,” You just have to get on Tinder “or something similar. But I know that I am talking for more, when I say that Tinder and dating applications are not for me. I have also looked for environments with interests similar to mine , but without success.

It is not an incel

As I sit here writing to him, I think of the ever-growing incel culture. It shows that I am certainly not alone, and this letter is also a bit on his behalf. But for my part, I am far from being an incel. When I read about this culture, I keep thinking that they have probably been on the same path as me now, only that they have gone much further and developed a misogyny. What is one of the premises to be called incel.

Humans are herd animals, we depend on each other and have close contact. For my part, I have lost many of my loved ones and had a mother with an alcohol problem in my early life. I know it hurts. It is also detrimental not to have physical contact with someone you love, when it comes to sex, for example, I have it once or twice a year (if I am lucky). And it helps put out the fire, fill the void or whatever you want to call it. But the loving touch that brides can indulge in luxury, I’ve never experienced. With a small family, few close friends, and a community that constantly reminds me of all the happy stroller families, it would have been interesting to hear your thoughts.

I hope you accept the challenge

You’re probably thinking I’m sending this to the wrong person. But you have a column that many read, and maybe there is more in my situation. So I hope you are up to a challenge. And I want you to accept the premise: How should those of us who are likely to live our lives alone (and have accepted it) prepare for that?

The question is whether this premise can be accepted in a column on coexistence. But like I said, there are probably more than me, both functionally healthy and those less fortunate.

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