My problem divided my problem doubled, I thought. Then I finally understood what people meant.
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I guess you’ve heard it before, that you should open up and talk to someone. Do not go and carry everything alone. That a problem shared is a problem halved.
I had heard it a lot, but still I would never share my problems with anyone. I thought my problem divided, my problem is doubled.
“You should not accommodate those feelings alone, you need someone else to accommodate them with you,” said a wise therapist I went to a little this fall. Then I finally understood what people mean.
Have figured it out now
For the world becomes a bit much sometimes. It can be both difficult to understand and cope with. It can be difficult to conclude nuanced or get out of your mind when you are your only sparring partner.
We are not built to accommodate the whole world alone. We humans need other people to understand things in several ways and feel safe.
We may feel small and insignificant in the big picture, but for each other we have great significance.
I have understood it more after that conversation, but I have felt it before as well. We find our people, with whom we can experience the world here and now. And then we find ways to see the world through what we talk about, and how we talk about it.
If there is no room to share within the family and the dynamics are difficult, we are allowed to find our own family.
And it does not have to be just each other’s problems we have to accept. It may also be that we should pick up each other’s hopes and good memories and carry them when others can not do it themselves.
Belonging to a small or large group of people is the antidote to physical and linguistic isolation. That said, we are constantly changing our view of the world and ourselves, and we have every right to find new people who will embrace the world with us.
People come and go, we develop in different directions, at different paces.
The most important thing is not how long you have known each other, or how many you know, but that you always have someone you can call your people.
The most important
Both friends, acquaintances and passers-by help to pull us out of our own heads. We help each other to hold the world together.
The world is big and violent, and sharing experiences with someone is good and important. Whether it is family, friends or acquaintances who sweep through our lives for a brief moment, does not have much to say.
The most important thing is just to know that if something seems overwhelming, and it is difficult to carry everything alone, then it can help to get in touch with someone. Put words to things, big and small, to get confirmations and denials.
Because we must hold the world together.
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